More information
Self portrait stuttering. Oil on board 23 x 31cm. Painting by Paul Aston.
I have a stutter that has helped to shape my life in several ways. Recently I have started to accept my stutter as an integral part of what makes me who I am and feel really happy about it . I've been trying to find positive portraits of stuttering in art history and have drawn a blank so far so I thought I'd make my own. The inspiration came from Giovanni Bellini's 'St. Francis in the Desert' in the Frick collection. In this painting the saints head is thrown back while he receives the stigmata. It has a strangely familiar quality to me - that temporary loss of control over your body which looks similar to the experience of stuttering. I've attempted to create the atmosphere of this temporary loss of control in this piece.
Related files
Self portrait stuttering. Oil on board 23 x 31cm. Painting by Paul Aston.
I have a stutter that has helped to shape my life in several ways. Recently I have started to accept my stutter as an integral part of what makes me who I am and feel really happy about it . I've been trying to find positive portraits of stuttering in art history and have drawn a blank so far so I thought I'd make my own. The inspiration came from Giovanni Bellini's 'St. Francis in the Desert' in the Frick collection. In this painting the saints head is thrown back while he receives the stigmata. It has a strangely familiar quality to me - that temporary loss of control over your body which looks similar to the experience of stuttering. I've attempted to create the atmosphere of this temporary loss of control in this piece.
Portrait of Ramdeep Romann stammering. Oil on board 12 x 12 inches. Painting by Paul Aston.
Here are Ramdeep’s thoughts on his life with a stutter and this portrait collaboration.
“I have spent most of my life hiding my stammer, deeply ashamed of how I would be perceived by my peers if I were to block on some dreaded sound. This irrational and toxic fear was borne from a life seeing stammerers being portrayed in the most insensitive way possible on virtually every form of media I have ever watched. I cannot count the opportunities I turned down or denied myself; too many times I hid in silence instead of speaking my mind for fear of humiliating myself with this disability. For too long I thought a competent doctor should not stammer.
But finally meeting other stammerers and realising there is a whole community campaigning for our stuttered voice to be heard made me realise that I have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to apologise for. My stammer is a part of who I am, WHAT I say is more important than HOW I say it, and I will never allow it to silence me again.
This beautiful painting by my friend Paul shows me finally turning away from the darkness and facing the light, with a stammered word etched on my face but my gaze still turned forward and upwards, unashamed and uncowed. The hospital scrubs represent my new found pride in embracing myself as a doctor who stammers.”
Giovanni Bellini St. Francis in the desert. Painted c. 1480 in Venice. Frick Collection, New York.
'I became fascinated by the expression on St. Francis's face in this painting by Giovanni Bellini. It seemed to mirror my experience of the temporary loss of control over my body while stammerin.' – Paul Aston.
Effects of Mr. Angry (my stammer) in school
- Tries to make fun of me.
- I know the answer but I don’t want to say it.
- I put in the wrong answer so I don’t get stuck.
- Sometimes act like I am thinking then when I am ready to say it I say it.
- In the yard I don’t do it all because I am not worried about him, just concentrating about what I am playing.
