Portrait of Paul Aston

Self portrait stuttering. Oil on board 23 x 31cm. Painting by Paul Aston.

I have a stutter that has helped to shape my life in several ways. Recently I have started to accept my stutter as an integral part of what makes me who I am and feel really happy about it . I've been trying to find positive portraits of stuttering in art history and have drawn a blank so far so I thought I'd make my own. The inspiration came from Giovanni Bellini's 'St. Francis in the Desert' in the Frick collection. In this painting the saints head is thrown back while he receives the stigmata. It has a strangely familiar quality to me - that temporary loss of control over your body which looks similar to the experience of stuttering. I've attempted to create the atmosphere of this temporary loss of control in this piece.

Giovanni Bellini St. Francis in the desert. Painted c. 1480 in Venice. Frick Collection, New York.

'I became fascinated by the expression on St. Francis's face in this painting by Giovanni Bellini. It seemed to mirror my experience of the temporary loss of control over my body while stammerin.' – Paul Aston.

‍Effects of Mr. Angry (my stammer) in school

• Tries to make fun of me.
• I know the answer but I don’t want to say it.
• I put in the wrong answer so I don’t get stuck.
• Sometimes act like I am thinking then when I am ready to say it I say it.
• In the yard I don’t do it all because I am not worried about him, just concentrating about what I am playing.